Adult Truths

Adult Truths (sorry adults)

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your

computer history if you die.

2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize

you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was

younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure

I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the

person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories. 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work

when you know that you just aren't going to do anything

productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I

don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks

me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that

I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not

to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or

Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just

nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they

said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team

up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,

brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get

dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still

not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car

keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on

the Donkey, but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.